I had been waiting to feel like this since a long time. I woke up with the gentle rays of sun filtering into my room and felt happier than I had in last several days. “You know Anuj, I am sure this is it, we will find happiness this time”. “Sure”, he said, “let’s first get ready and not think too much about it, we know what happened the last time and the time before that and the…”, my husband trailed off with a sad reminder of the past. “No Anuj, I am telling you, I am feeling different this time, I am sure we’ll…”

We make a great couple, completely in love with each other and life. We have been married for seven years now but one could easily mistake us for a newly wed couple. We have everything one could wish for and today here we are, once again hoping that our ardent desire would be granted. We had done everything one possibly could, appeasing Gods with prayers, going to every known and unknown doctor, taking every possible medication and yet... Despite several heart breaks in the past, we were trying hard not to give up. With every failure, I would go into semi depression and Anuj would once again take up the Herculean task of bringing me back to life. Our love was what carried us through.

I was excited this time as well, but Anuj was practical. Experiences in life had taught him to be measured. “Hello Doctor- us again. What is the result? I am sure we…”, My smile began to fade as I tried to read the doctor’s face. “Sorry dear, but the pregnancy test was negative”. These words felt like a bolt of thunder on us and our dreams crashed all over again. We could not believe our ears. “Hey dear, that is fine, there is always another time and we can always…” said Anuj in a choked voice, trying hard to hide his own tears.

We struggled to come to terms with reality. Though our own tests were completely normal, God had chosen not to bless us with a child. “Listen dear, what do you think about what doctor uncle said. Why don’t we adopt a child? We can give our love to a child who has no one to call his. That will be a greater good and we will feel complete too”. I too was now beginning to accept the truth and agreed to adopt a child.

The adoption process was not very easy either. But going through the process had made us happy and full of hope. We started to look forward to completeness in our lives. After several months of tests, applications, meeting parents, kids and other procedural steps, we had finally decided to adopt a baby girl yet to be born to a single mother. The baby was to be born that day and we were at the hospital to see our bundle of joy coming into the world. “Anuj, nothing can go wrong today. I am so happy you convinced me to take this decision. I have never felt better. I just can’t wait to see her and take her home with us”. “Doctor uncle should be coming any time with her”, said Anuj, equally excited.

Doctor uncle came...“Anuj, I hate to say this, but the child was a still born”. Unable to see our faces, the doctor left without hearing or saying anything further. Cruel are the ways of destiny and we were unfortunately experiencing that first hand. We went home dejected and devastated. The nursery we had built for the child seemed to be meaningless and a painful reminder of our situation.

But life has a way of going on and time passes. We still loved each other but our emptiness seemed to cast a dark and gloomy shadow in our otherwise sunny lives. Nothing seemed to entice us and life had become a burden that had to be lived.

One day, it was late in the night and suddenly I woke up to the noise of a knock on the door. “Who could it be this hour of the night”, I thought. I tightened my gown, wore my slippers and walked downstairs to check the increasingly loud knocks. I opened the door and in the moonlight shone an angelic face, “Can I get something to eat”, he asked. “I haven’t eaten anything since the last few days”. We could not believe… our nursery would be occupied, our lives complete. We adopted this child and we couldn’t have been happier….